|
We've had many readers ask about the funeral service for 7-year-old
Evan Newport. Evan's father, Scott Newport, has been kind enough to
share his reflections through his writing. We publish Scott's words and
writing here with his permission as a way to share Evan's story which
has impacted so many in a moving way. Although we know many people were
unable to attend services for Evan, his father provides powerful and
profound images of the services. His writing also reminds us how
important the role of a funeral director can be as it was through Gene
Andrus of Lynch and Sons. With a grateful heart for sharing this story,
our thoughts are with Scott, Penni, the entire family and the many
friends of Evan Newport.
"Three Days With Gene" - Written by Scott Newport
When someone comes into your life for the first time I don't think you
ever take the time to wonder how much of an impact they may have on us.
I met Gene last week on the second floor of a beautiful painted brick
building with bright wood trim that outlined empowering roof pitches.
The carport at the entrance was grand, with ornate pillars holding up
the roof. My wife Penni and I sat down with him around a medium sized
mahogany conference table. Gene is a funeral director. We had set up a
meeting with him to plan the homecoming for our seven-year-old son,
Evan.
Actually, the first time we'd met Gene was when our son was three; we'd
always known Evan would die young due to his complex medical condition
associated with Noonan syndrome. That day four years ago, as I watched
Gene shed tears in response to Evan's story, I knew he would be a
source of comfort—for Evan, predictably, had crept into his heart.
The morning of our son's death was a Friday. I knew I'd have to make
the call to Gene. Later that day, Gene's crew came to our house and
watched as Noah, Evan's 11-year-old brother, and I carried Evan to the
funeral vehicle. "Hey Dad," Noah whispered, "It doesn't look safe." I
assured him it would be okay.
Paddy, a funeral director himself, looked in from the other side of the
car and told Noah, "You can follow us if you like. You know…to make
sure Evan arrives safely." Paddy was just awesome as he squinched his
large linebacker frame into the back.
Talking through the details of your child's funeral is, I'm sure you
can imagine, a crushing experience. But as we talked with Gene, he
lightened our burden a little. He shared his memories about the day
he'd first met Evan. And Penni asked about his children, especially his
daughter who has Down syndrome. I don't know if what Gene did next was
in line with his profession but he showed us some pictures and short
videos of his daughter. Penni just insisted and Gene smiled with us as
we saw her in a cheerleading competition. In that moment, I knew that
Gene smiled for Evan too.
Thursday, six days after Evan died, was the viewing for close friends
and immediate family. Somehow, I survived the intense sense of loss. I
occasionally saw Gene glance in the door. I started to walk over to him
and before I could say anything, he said, "I got your back." I went
back to my friends.
Friday was a totally different event as hundreds of people showed up. I
was exhausted after the first hour and a half and asked Gene if it
would get busier. He looked at me and said, "Scott, it's going to get
very busy—especially between five and seven." It was only half past
three.
Saturday, the day of the funeral, we pulled up to the church. The Royal
Oak firefighters were going to be pallbearers and the big red engine
was already in place for the processional to the cemetery. One of
Gene's crew waved to us and gently held his flat hand out to the place
where the front of the car should stop.
We made our way through the large church foyer and there was Evan in
front of three large Christmas trees with towering windows behind him.
The crisp December morning was bright, the skies were blue, and the sun
shone brilliantly. There were picture boards of Evan's life nearby and
flowers of all colors. White balloons floated high in the air and the
strings gently moved as people passed by to see Evan.
"May I have your attention," a strong voice commanded. I turned and saw
Gene. He stood tall at that moment in his long black jacket. I hadn't
realized it but he'd only been an arm's length away from me. "It's time
to enter the auditorium and make your way to your seats," he said.
Gene then asked the family to come together around Evan and pay their
last respects. The pastor asked us all to hold hands and we prayed.
Gene gently asked everyone to leave except for Penni, Noah, Chelsea,
and I. He then—and I don't know how he could do it—but he asked Penni
and I to put our hands on the lid and close it. Man, that is a heavy
thing to do. Gene locked the casket and we filed into the sanctuary.
Gene led the way, followed by an immaculately dressed firefighter, and
then us.
After a perfect celebration of Evan's life, Gene asked us again to
stand up and follow Evan out. The firefighters did a formal salute as
they loaded the coffin, which was draped by a University of Michigan
flag, a fitting tribute to the medical team that served Evan so well
these past seven years.
With lights flashing and the fire engine leading the way, we couldn't
help but notice all the cars that had pulled to the side of the road
out of respect for our son. The Hearse, just ahead of us, had a white
balloon tied to the back door, signaling that a child had died.
Noah kept looking back and said, "Mom, look at all those people following us."
As we entered the cemetery we could see off in the distance a large
green tent. We knew it was for us. Winding through the maze of burial
spots and evergreen floral arrangements, we finally saw Gene. He never
waivered. He marked the exact spot for our car to stop with his large
bare flat hand out. I couldn't believe the precision of it all.
He told us to stay in the car as his large crew waved in vehicle after
vehicle, showing them where to park. When it was time, Gene opened
Penni's door and led her to a seat by Evan. We watched as the
firefighters placed Evan above his final resting place and they stood
directly across from us, behind Evan as though they were going to
protect him 'til the end.
Gene asked everyone to get as close as possible around us inside the
tent. The last service was peaceful and at the end we all sang hymns,
starting with Amazing Grace.
With the last note of our singing still in the air, Gene motioned us to
the side and the grave attendants came in to lower the casket. I don't
know if you have ever seen that but it is a very powerful sight as
those long straps eerily sway and unwind oh so slowly.
Penni said we should sing, so someone started singing Jesus Loves the
Little Children. We all joined in, even Gene and his staff. Gene handed
each of us—Penni, Noah, Chelsea, and myself—a white rose. We dropped
them on top of the coffin.
It was now time to place the first bit of dirt on Evan. I grasped the
wooden handle of the shovel Gene said was just for me and I plunged it
into the large mountain of clay.
As I threw the first dirt on the casket engraved with Evan Harrison
Newport, words I had never planned broke from my lips: "This is for my
son."
Penni was next. Then Chelsea. Then Noah. Others followed. Gene was last.
Gene guided us again, asking us to look up into the fresh winter sky.
He passed out the white balloons that had surrounded Evan over the last
three days. He gave Noah the one that had been on the back of the
Hearse. "Noah," he said, "This is a special one just for you."
We let the balloons go.
As they wandered off to a faraway place, family and friends started to
interpret what they saw in the sky. Gene said, "It looks like a giant
flashlight." Evan's favorite toy.
|